since i seem to be on a tirade about dj's and "non" djs/cdjs... i figured id take this time to go into depth as to what alot of us "veteran" djs endured during our days of searching for that perfect vinyl....so pretty much..here's a dj's list of ...
UR A REAL DJ IF YOU......
1: WAS IN A RECORD POOL...WHICH HAD DUES OF UPWARDS TO $100 BUCKS A MONTH...AND ACTUALLY HAD TO GO TO THE RECORD POOL SITE...TO PICK UP VINYL!!!
2: LIED ABOUT NOT HAVING THE "ELECTRIC SLIDE" AT PARTIES SO U WOULDNT HAVE TO PLAY IT...
3: ACTUALLY HATED THE "ELECTRIC SLIDE"
4: HAVE ACTUALLY BEEN TO A RECORD STORE...SAT DOWN...ACCUMULATED A FAT STACK OF WAX..WAITED ON LINE TO LISTEN TO EVERYONE OF THOSE PIECES OF VINYL...AND SPENT MOST OF UR CHECK ON DAT STACK...
5: WAS ON A MAILING LIST FROM RECORD LABELS...AND OR...BEEN TO RECORD LABELS TO COLLECT EXCLUSIVES..U REMEMBER THOSE BACKPACK DAYS...
6: HAD TO SACRIFICE BRINGIN PEOPLE TO PARTIES CUZ U NEEDED ROOM FOR UR CRATES OF RECORDS....
7: ACTUALLY HAD SECOND THOUGHTS OF CONVERTING TO SERATO...BUT DID IT CUZ U WASNT TRYIN TO LUG NO MORE CRATES!!!
8: HAVE AT LEAST...AT LEEEAST 5 VOLUMES OF THE ULTIMATE BREAKS AND BEATS ON VINYL....AND IN DOUBLES!!! AND IF U HAVE TO ASK WHAT THOSE WERE...U FAILED... (AND IM TALKIN ABOUT WIT THE OCTOPUS ON THE COVER DANCIN...)
9: WAS ABLE TO DO THE TRANSFORMER SCRATCH WITH OUT THE CONTOR FADER KNOB ON UR MIXER...
10. SCRAPED UR LABELS OFF UR RECORDS...OR COVERED THE TITLES OF UR JOINTS SO NOONE COULD KNO WHAT U HAD....OR GAVE THE WRONG TRACK ID SO THEY WOULD GO ON A BULLSHIT HUNT...
11...ONE OF MY FAVS...STARTED DJING ON "BELT DRIVEN" TURNTABLES....
PLEASE...FEEL FREE TO ADD MORE
NOW...IM NOT SAYING THIS IN ANY WAYS BASHING NEW DJS...IM JUST GIVING RETROSPECT AS TO WHAT WE HAD TO DO...TO CALL OURSELVES A DJ...AND WHY WE TAKE THIS MONIKER TO HEART....
Friday, May 7, 2010
club ettiquite pt 2
ok, well the first official weekend finds me making this note once again, i was gonna hold off, but last nites events have found me doin this shit NOW....
just to reiterate on a few from the last one....
1: strong arming the dj to try and play ur song, isnt a good look ANY way you put it....we know that u would love to hear that song that u constantly hear on the radio like ...32343434 times a day, but WE (djs) wanna hear that shit ONCE in the club, so ur best bet is to get there early...
2: any types of liquids being held over the dj equipment, will constitute an automatic screaming on....
3: you...AND I REPEAT...YOU are not entitled to a shout out..AT ALL..DURING NO TIME IN THE NIGHT am i obligated to shout ur ass out....DEAL WITH IT!!!!
now for some new ones.... (ill make it sporadic)
1: women...you hate it when men cat call u on some "yo" shit...so do us djs..trying to get our attention on some "yo" shit will definately get "yo" ass ignored...
2: back to the attire...ladies...if you put ur arms above ur head and ur stomach falls out of ur shirt...(refer to the he-man character "orko") THAT SHIT IS TOO SMALL!!! i for one am TIRED of seeing stomachs hanging out, i mean..save something for the imagination...
3: i love to see people dancing in the club...i mean..thats the whole objective of me being there...what im NOT interested in seeing tho, is dance routines...i mean...is this abdc or so you think you can dance or something?? i dont see no choreographers in the building..but if i throw on "single ladies", im not expecting to be entertained with the FULL video version with the hands switching back and forth and everything, cuz i jus might cut that shit off!! what next??
4: starting shit with the dj is an automatic fail hands down, if not, the most DUMBEST shit on the planet...understand, we have a million songs going thru our heads at 1 time, trying to please you and ur bullshit request is not a priority at that time, so have a coke and a smile, and shut the fuck up..
5: 4 seconds with no music in ur car is nothing...4 seconds with no music in a club, is an ETERNITY...its also our secret code to tell security to bring they ass to the booth cuz some asshole is fucking with us...LET US DO OUR JOB!!! we dont come to ur house and tell u how to screw ur wife or to ur job to tell u how to flip ur burgers....do we??? once again..WE GOT THIS!!
6: fighting in the club...cmon...lets remember a few things...1..we are ALL adults in there...2...its PACKED...ur gonna get bumped into, EXPECT IT!!....3: if you dont like ur shoes/timbs getting scuffed, wear some bullshit ones...(i know i do!!) either or, u look like a complete ASSHOLE fighting in the club, they have only a handful of clubs that play hip hop in that area, (im talking about my area now) DONT BE THE ASSHOLE WHO FUCKS IT UP FOR EVERYONE...take that shit outside...or better yet, brush that shit off...its REALLY not that serious...
7: i cant stress this enough...if u cant handle ur liquor, plain and simple...DONT DRINK!! u wont look like a wuss at the bar drinking water or juice ....i can respect u for that..i know my limit thats why u will catch me with water....but seeing u drink that liquid courage and wanna fight everyone in the spot is not a good look, or the chick who wanna show ALL her contents under her skirt, then wants to blame it on the a a a a a alcohol is jus nuts....
8: fellas...if a chick dont wanna dance wit u, she just dont wanna dance with u, LEAVE IT ALONE!! u fail IMMEDIATELY callin her names... some songs are jus for females to dance wit they girls wit, its all good, brush ur ego off and breeze to the next one!!!
9: shades in the club...smmfh...what the fuck??? i can hardly see wit those on my face during the DAY...let alone during the night!!! FAIL!!
10: ron browz said it best...NO WIFE-ING IN THE CLUB!!!!
11. end of the day....RESPECT THE CLUB...
aite im out...until the next batch of bullshit i see...take it easy in the club, and nothing for nothing...respect the dj!!! we WILL make OR break ur night!! hahahahahaha!!
just to reiterate on a few from the last one....
1: strong arming the dj to try and play ur song, isnt a good look ANY way you put it....we know that u would love to hear that song that u constantly hear on the radio like ...32343434 times a day, but WE (djs) wanna hear that shit ONCE in the club, so ur best bet is to get there early...
2: any types of liquids being held over the dj equipment, will constitute an automatic screaming on....
3: you...AND I REPEAT...YOU are not entitled to a shout out..AT ALL..DURING NO TIME IN THE NIGHT am i obligated to shout ur ass out....DEAL WITH IT!!!!
now for some new ones.... (ill make it sporadic)
1: women...you hate it when men cat call u on some "yo" shit...so do us djs..trying to get our attention on some "yo" shit will definately get "yo" ass ignored...
2: back to the attire...ladies...if you put ur arms above ur head and ur stomach falls out of ur shirt...(refer to the he-man character "orko") THAT SHIT IS TOO SMALL!!! i for one am TIRED of seeing stomachs hanging out, i mean..save something for the imagination...
3: i love to see people dancing in the club...i mean..thats the whole objective of me being there...what im NOT interested in seeing tho, is dance routines...i mean...is this abdc or so you think you can dance or something?? i dont see no choreographers in the building..but if i throw on "single ladies", im not expecting to be entertained with the FULL video version with the hands switching back and forth and everything, cuz i jus might cut that shit off!! what next??
4: starting shit with the dj is an automatic fail hands down, if not, the most DUMBEST shit on the planet...understand, we have a million songs going thru our heads at 1 time, trying to please you and ur bullshit request is not a priority at that time, so have a coke and a smile, and shut the fuck up..
5: 4 seconds with no music in ur car is nothing...4 seconds with no music in a club, is an ETERNITY...its also our secret code to tell security to bring they ass to the booth cuz some asshole is fucking with us...LET US DO OUR JOB!!! we dont come to ur house and tell u how to screw ur wife or to ur job to tell u how to flip ur burgers....do we??? once again..WE GOT THIS!!
6: fighting in the club...cmon...lets remember a few things...1..we are ALL adults in there...2...its PACKED...ur gonna get bumped into, EXPECT IT!!....3: if you dont like ur shoes/timbs getting scuffed, wear some bullshit ones...(i know i do!!) either or, u look like a complete ASSHOLE fighting in the club, they have only a handful of clubs that play hip hop in that area, (im talking about my area now) DONT BE THE ASSHOLE WHO FUCKS IT UP FOR EVERYONE...take that shit outside...or better yet, brush that shit off...its REALLY not that serious...
7: i cant stress this enough...if u cant handle ur liquor, plain and simple...DONT DRINK!! u wont look like a wuss at the bar drinking water or juice ....i can respect u for that..i know my limit thats why u will catch me with water....but seeing u drink that liquid courage and wanna fight everyone in the spot is not a good look, or the chick who wanna show ALL her contents under her skirt, then wants to blame it on the a a a a a alcohol is jus nuts....
8: fellas...if a chick dont wanna dance wit u, she just dont wanna dance with u, LEAVE IT ALONE!! u fail IMMEDIATELY callin her names... some songs are jus for females to dance wit they girls wit, its all good, brush ur ego off and breeze to the next one!!!
9: shades in the club...smmfh...what the fuck??? i can hardly see wit those on my face during the DAY...let alone during the night!!! FAIL!!
10: ron browz said it best...NO WIFE-ING IN THE CLUB!!!!
11. end of the day....RESPECT THE CLUB...
aite im out...until the next batch of bullshit i see...take it easy in the club, and nothing for nothing...respect the dj!!! we WILL make OR break ur night!! hahahahahaha!!
club ettiquite pt 1.
listen peoples... it's time we get it together, so since we FAIL to see how one another acts in the club... here's a list so that we can get it right for the new year... starting with tips for interacting with:
the DJ
1: asking for a song, and THEN threatening to stand by him until he plays it, probably cuts ur chances of hearing it down to zero.. us djs are some hilarious characters, and we WONT play it jus to piss u off...
2: reaching over the equipment with a drink in ur hand is automatic grounds for a smack..
3: I don't kno about other djs, but me... I only like to play songs ONCE... subliminal term for.. GET UR ASS THERE EARLY!! we all know the best songs are played between 12:30- 2am...
4: shout outs... touchy one right here, but has to get spoken on. for the record, the DJ doesn't owe anyone SHIT!! shout outs as well.. so it's pretty much up to the discresion of the said DJ to do shout outs.. but there are some guidelines... 1.if ur birthday passed by 3 weeks, u aren't entitled to a bday shout out, 2. if u want a personal shout out jus to feel important, that's cool, but jus to let em kno ur in the building?? that's corny.. 3. u wanna use MY time to promote ur upcoming parties?? not gonna fly.
5: requests... smh, there's so much I can say on this but imma keep it simple... if the DJ is in a certain genre, don't ask for some off the wall shit and want it played next.. pay attention to the crowd, if u think the song is corny that's being played and he floor is full... then I think u took an automatic fail on ur choice now didn't u.. my suggestion would then to be for u to sit down and shut the fuck up!! I got this!!!
moving on
club goers
1: attire. now... AS a DJ I see ALL of u, i notice if it took u a whole evening to dress or all of a tv commercial's length. point being is that if u stretching a size 12 foot into a 6 jus to keep that dream of small feet alive... fail.. if u stretching an inner tube of a gut into a deloren shirt jus to look nice... fail, ya look like a muffin... fellas, u ain't exempt, skinny jeans... leave those for the younger generation.. tryin to dance in em and constantly adjusting ur nuts?? FAIL..
2: everybody... i kno the club is supposed to be a form of release for he day, but please... KNOW YOUR LIMIT!! there's nohing worse than watchin ur drunk ass stumble across the dance floor like u in a pinball machine.. or that infamous chick sittin at the bar clutching her drink as she falls to the ground... u may think that shit is funny, but u look like an ass.. I kno I had my moment, (Orlando march madness) but shit, ya won't catch me slipping again.. so please, kno when to say when...
3: hygene... this should be a given, it's an insult to urself if u lookin good, nice outfit hair done properly only to step to someone and ur breath is smelling like a thousand miles of shit... pop a mint and get that desperately needed BANG ouf life before speaking or quite simply, do a breath check... it's free and convenient...
were in America, we use deoderant over here.. please make a note of it.
part two to this will follow in a few days.. jus had to get this off my chest... enjoy ur day!!!!
the DJ
1: asking for a song, and THEN threatening to stand by him until he plays it, probably cuts ur chances of hearing it down to zero.. us djs are some hilarious characters, and we WONT play it jus to piss u off...
2: reaching over the equipment with a drink in ur hand is automatic grounds for a smack..
3: I don't kno about other djs, but me... I only like to play songs ONCE... subliminal term for.. GET UR ASS THERE EARLY!! we all know the best songs are played between 12:30- 2am...
4: shout outs... touchy one right here, but has to get spoken on. for the record, the DJ doesn't owe anyone SHIT!! shout outs as well.. so it's pretty much up to the discresion of the said DJ to do shout outs.. but there are some guidelines... 1.if ur birthday passed by 3 weeks, u aren't entitled to a bday shout out, 2. if u want a personal shout out jus to feel important, that's cool, but jus to let em kno ur in the building?? that's corny.. 3. u wanna use MY time to promote ur upcoming parties?? not gonna fly.
5: requests... smh, there's so much I can say on this but imma keep it simple... if the DJ is in a certain genre, don't ask for some off the wall shit and want it played next.. pay attention to the crowd, if u think the song is corny that's being played and he floor is full... then I think u took an automatic fail on ur choice now didn't u.. my suggestion would then to be for u to sit down and shut the fuck up!! I got this!!!
moving on
club goers
1: attire. now... AS a DJ I see ALL of u, i notice if it took u a whole evening to dress or all of a tv commercial's length. point being is that if u stretching a size 12 foot into a 6 jus to keep that dream of small feet alive... fail.. if u stretching an inner tube of a gut into a deloren shirt jus to look nice... fail, ya look like a muffin... fellas, u ain't exempt, skinny jeans... leave those for the younger generation.. tryin to dance in em and constantly adjusting ur nuts?? FAIL..
2: everybody... i kno the club is supposed to be a form of release for he day, but please... KNOW YOUR LIMIT!! there's nohing worse than watchin ur drunk ass stumble across the dance floor like u in a pinball machine.. or that infamous chick sittin at the bar clutching her drink as she falls to the ground... u may think that shit is funny, but u look like an ass.. I kno I had my moment, (Orlando march madness) but shit, ya won't catch me slipping again.. so please, kno when to say when...
3: hygene... this should be a given, it's an insult to urself if u lookin good, nice outfit hair done properly only to step to someone and ur breath is smelling like a thousand miles of shit... pop a mint and get that desperately needed BANG ouf life before speaking or quite simply, do a breath check... it's free and convenient...
were in America, we use deoderant over here.. please make a note of it.
part two to this will follow in a few days.. jus had to get this off my chest... enjoy ur day!!!!
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